Train of Thought


Calmness on the out-, turmoil on the inside.
It’s hart to find a starting point and it’s tempting to go tired.
But: Most people confronted with injustice don’t actually have this choice; are not allowed to be tired.
Don’t have the option to walk away. Don’t get to decide wether to care or not.

Acknowledging my white privilege is as important as opposing racism, as it is a huge part of it.
Still it feels like pointing the topic about me, about „us“ again, even in moments like these.
What acknowledging can do though, is opening the eyes of other privileged people, who need someone like them to tell them. 

I have white privilege. All of it.

Growing up in „my part of“ Berlin I wasn’t so much confronted with racism against Black people, but rather against Turkish, Syrian, Eastern European, Roma, Sinti and Muslims in general.
That alone is a stark realisation, as obviously Black people live in Berlin, but growing up I rarely met any, let alone witnessed injustices against them. Knowing, that there is a lot of pain and suffering in the Black community of my hometown,
makes me feel guilty.

Part of my „growing up as a white girl in Berlin“ was also to see it as an open minded city, in a „colorful“ city, that got compared to the melting pot of New York many times.
I’ve gone to the streets for all the topics I can think of. I’ve been to demonstrations against war(s), marches for womens rights, protests against G8 and capitalism including the whole occupy movement, events for refugees and demonstrations about the climate crisis. I’ve always been someone to speak up, to stay on the unpopular side, to make myself feel uncomfortable by questioning power and accepted rules.
Did I do enough? No. Better than nothing is not the same as enough.

As a teenage girl I became a Gothic, opposing what was liked and accepted at my elite secondary school. I accepted to be openly disapproved by students and teachers, to get lower grades, to „endanger my good education“. And by accepted I mean I CHOSE. Because as a white girl, I always had the choice to go back to normal, back to acceptance, to undo my „mistake“. 

That choice is my (white) privilege. Period.
I can choose. As simple as that. Nobody chooses for me. Nobody decides about my life, my worth, my education, my job prospects, my chances in every single aspect of my daily life. I do.

My privilege allows me to think about who I am, to reflect on my trauma, to work on my fears and to define my dreams. It allows me to feel secure most of the time. It allows me to live in comfort and to be the one making the choice wether or not to step out of my comfort zone.

As of today I am still more educated on topics like nature conservation and climate change. Thinking that I was also educated about racism, I have to admit that I barely scratched the surface. 

It is long overdue to build a post-racism-society. Our race is human and I dream about a time, in which #weareallthesame is a truth we all live by. Moments of growth have always been uncomfortable. It takes discomfort to change the status quo. And this current status quo is off limits wrong on so many levels and so many topics, that it is easy to get overwhelmed and tired.
Be overwhelmed, be tired, be confused, be sad, be angry. Then (re-)position yourself, pop the bubble and start doing whatever you feel could be your contribution to shatter the shit out of the status quo. #useyourprivilege

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